Ok it's definitely been donkey years since I've been here haha I wonder if anyone still comes. And I'm guessing if anyone does, it'll be shijia or qianhui HAHA. XD
So just saying, I have whatsapp already, if you want, uhh somehow please comtact me. XD Anyway, so yeah that's like my latest new thing.
I have a choir spring show coming up soon and I have a solo and duet hehe. :D And like there are different levels of choir lah, so like depending on how good you are you'll be put into a different choir. Then I auditioned liao and apparently I will be in the best choir. Pretty awesome considering it's my first year in choir hehehe. (Y) But still music theory from piano has helped alot.
Oh and forgot if I mentioned before, but I have perfect pitch (absolute pitch). Can go google if you dunno what it is. Hehe, it's pretty sweet.
AND THEN HOR, just yesterday I skyped Shijia, then she tell me I have bit of angmor accent liao. LIKE WHUT. I DUNWAN. But i still add my singlish slangs as usual haha cos #SINGLISHFTW.
I'm like completely FLABBERGASTED (this word is pretty cool) because I thought it never change much. But still I'm quite flexible lah, I can change like between accents quite easily. But like some particular words will be very different. Like in SG we say "gee-o-grah-fi", US is "gee-o-greh-fi" and more shun. Little words like this make big differences. Apparently when they advertisement it's like "ad-ver-ti-ss-ment" <-If you get my lousy explanation. And is like we are like "an-teee" theirs is "an-tie". Though for these words I dun really care. I guess my angmor accent still very lousy cos it's not exactly the right pronunciations. And fun fact, pronunciation is one of the most mispronounced words HAHA. (Yes being a nerd here.) I'm still a major nerd, but I feel dumb now because yall in SG learn so difficult things and I'm like being nooby here. But then again, their education system is completely different so it's hard to compare also. But currently I'm skipping a year i guess.
So I still really miss everything, but honestly, I wonder if everything's been too long or something, the hurting feeling seems to have decreased significantly. It makes me feel guilty cos it's like I'm forgetting yall or something. It makes me afraid because I dun wanna lose what we had. But then again I go on thinking about how maybe many of you have already forgotten and like dun really care anyways. But then I think about how some people might. And how if I do that, they'll get hurt. It's all so complicated. That's why I always prefer to talk face to face with someone. The human face can truly convey many messages just through expression. So I'm thinking of changing my DPs soon. But there's so much holding me back. I wonder if I'm being too clingy. I truly don't know anymore.
Honestly, I don't have as many friends as I used to have. Or rather, while amount is not important, I don't really have any truly good friends. All the relationships I have here feel so superficial and unreal. Everything seems fake. It's scary to see how fake some people can be. I can look at her being sweet and nice to some person for a second, and the next moment she starts complaining and bitching about how she doesn't like her. And at this point I just realized how proper my english has been. But then again I think I'm pretty much overthinking again. Back to topic, so yeah I think I bore people. I'm not sure why but I could bond with SG people really well. Like we'd always have things to talk about. Now that I think about it, there's barely anything to talk about here. I would make friends if I could think of something to talk to someone about without them being all looking at me and being like, "Oh... Yeah...." and then that awkward silence. I'm also too straight-laced to honestly be friends with people. It's hard for me. I've tried the talking to people thing and all I've gotten was weird looks like WOW she's talking or like why is she talking to me. I had enough. I don't know. The staring deal has become better. When I first entered the school, every day when I walked in, everyone stared. What was there to see honestly. And no, the "you're pretty lor" thing isn't gonna cut it. Everyone knows I'm not pretty and my clothes are no where near fashionable.
It's so much stress. And I feel I'm studying here more than SG. Wanna guess why? Cos the teacher's can't teach. It's like if you don't self study you're not gonna do well. It's such lousy planning. I'm still angry with the education system here. But I'll say that I love the way they allow you to try things that will actually benefit you're career choices and things. That is a fabulous and wonderful idea. In fact, everywhere should try to do that. But when it come to grading and stuff, seriously, teach us what we did wrong, not just never return the ws.
BTW, search on youtube for "Boy lectures teacher". It should say something like Jeff Bliss from Duncanville High School I think. He was scolding his teacher for just giving packets (which here means worksheets that consist of a few pages) and her not teaching. I have 2 teacher so far that just do that mostly. I understand his frustration. My science teacher now is so lousy that I'm just waiting for the results of the standardized test to come back right, and I hope the school will see that majority of students that attend her class are all failing. Because, she doesn't think she's doing something wrong. However, she's just treating us like we know everything that SHE is supposed to teach. I mean if some just tells you, ok we're learning about acids and bases. Then it briefly summarizes everything.Then immediately when we get the worksheets, the questions don't cover anything you mentioned. So how are we supposed to do our work? Then test things are even harder. I'm sorry but things don't work this way ok.
I have just realized I've ranted for like 1/2 an hour. I dunno. If I wanted to, I could go on for a long time. But i don't think I will. Anyway, anyone who sees this, leave a message. I'm really curious who would actually still come and see this. I'm sorry if this post brought you down but I guess I'm overall down nowadays. Imagine going to school and not verbally speak to people for like hours more or less. I do that on a daily basis. I can be like from 10:07-1:02 not have a real conversation. Maybe questions or answers. But not even one for casual talking. Nope, I'm not asking for pity. I'm just self-pitying. I wonder if it's my fault cos I'm antisocial, or because I really can't do it. I wonder. I would also like to thank God for supporting me in this lonely times.
Also to shijia, qianhui, half-buddha, my squad, my anime twitter family and my real family as well.
Till then, let's see when my next miraculous update will be.
Te Amo, te quiero,
Sherlyn
