This is kinda pathetic haha. So anyway, to any bloggers that stop by, Vampirestat is a spam website. Do not link to it or you'll also suffer from it's spam. It pretends that your blog has viewers but it isn't true. It's just fake traffic. And that brings me back to why this is pathetic. The views are only the spam that it brought. No one else visited the blog. Haha...haha........
Well. I am sad again today. Well it feels like I'm never anyone else's number 1. I doubt I ever was. Especially with how I am. I really don't know anymore. People would say, "Yeah you need to boost your self-confidence and be more positive."
What if I can't?
Self-confidence is when you actually have something to be proud about. But no matter how proud you are, it's no use if no one else actually thinks so.
"So what if people don't think you are good? Someone will think so."
Ha...HAHAHA. Sorry but you may most definitely be wrong. What if there isn't anyone? What if there was someone but that person was simply a sympathetic person who tries to be nice? What if they could only half-heartedly care for you? I don't know. I don't even know what I'm saying anymore.
Being positive.
I agree I'm very EXTREMELY negative. But I'm afraid to be positive. Almost 70% of the time when I tell myself that something will go alright or that something will go "this-way", it fails. It won't. But when I'm negative, the results actually go right. A personal moral I like to live by:
If you don't expect anything, the result is sweeter. Expectation brings disappointment.
I'm sometimes even afraid to hope for things. Like I was hoping that when my school year starts, I'll be able to make more friends and such and looked forward to some stuff. But I stopped. I was afraid that everything would backfire. Everything would fall apart and I would be alone again. I dunno. I wonder if I'm making everything just about me. What if it's just me being selfish? What if I'm paranoid.
One thing's for sure. I overthink way too much. I know.
And honestly. Anyone who says nothing is impossible, try jumping down the eiffel tower or some tall building, no equipment, purely yourself and survive. Go try it. Or stay underwater without equipment for a day. Just yourself again. Go try it. Succeed and tell me again.
Kthxbai,
Sherlyn
