I'm like super sad now. Cos everytime I hear my father talking about the future, he seems to have 0% intention of returning to Singapore. Even if it is for visiting. Yes, I know Singapore is a really expensive place and stuff and that it is very far away and stuff. But the way he says it seems to show 0% interest in going back and stuff. And I'm here like, "..." Today he was just saying about being a citizen here and stuff. TBH, I dun wan be a citizen here. I'm proud to be a Singaporean.
I am officially pissed. He keep thinking america so great and stuff and how life is better here. Ok. Maybe I don't know about this from a financial point of view. But saying that what's so good about being a Singaporean and stuff? I don't think so. Singapore is unique and awesome in it's own way. Stop saying bad stuff about it. I love the country and it is not for you as a original citizen to criticise. I don't appreciate it.
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And i think I'm super delusional. My parents one day told me that I was taking the change in life here very easily and well. Then I was like, WTH? This is like super untrue.
Ok, story time. I was like in school in one of which I may say my worst days.
In my day, the first lesson I had was Teen Leadership and stuff. Then like we were assigned this project. I personally felt that some planning was needed for the project. We were given like 3 lessons to plan. Which was a super much waste of time. We practically had 3 lessons of at least 30 mins to plan. AT LEAST. But my group never do anything. They only sometimes say a bit. And the only thing they discussed was what to bring to feed the class people. Then is like they never do anything. Then I asked a few times so what are we gonna do? Then there was this one guy who said, "Hey. This is America. We don't DO our homework. We procrastinate. " Then they went on to go talk about how they procrastinate and then continue with somemore shit they were talking about. Then I was so pissed. But you cannot expect me to yell at them. I was like new, and they were all so close to each other and stuff so it was impossible to do anything. Wanna know the best thing? On the actual day, someone forgot something important. Then we had to improvise. Which was shitty but we still got 90 cos the teacher said we did good in improvising which I found like damn shit. It was all so slack and stuff. I take my grades seriously and this is like an insult and shit. Just plain crap and shit.
2nd period next right, the teacher say the next project was to go do on a relative who fought in WW2. I was like bitch please SG no one fight. Unless you are indian maybe but you are most likely dead. Plus I already asked this question before. And I confirmed I don't have. Then I told my teacher that. Then she bitch go ask me go home to ask around and stuff. Then I was like okfine lah. Damn you. Already told you liao. Then after I asked right, I dunno why but everyone in class was staring at me. Like piercing stares. Then i was like damn awkward shit. Then on that day, I went home and after telling the whole story to my mother I cried. It was the first time i felt so happy that my mom was there to listen to me rant. I like just broke down and stuff. Cannot stop. Then my mother was like very 心痛。Was touched lah me. :)
Ok end of story. Then continuing what I said, I'm now practically like desperate. I get happy like super happy over a single mention, an sms or a dm. I have like a super lonely life now. So what do I do? I think what I do is drown myself in manga and thoughts and shows. There is nothing else I can do. In SG at least I drown myself in CCA and HW which isn't that bad either. But I realised that I practically do nothing in life now. I simply keep myself happy by reading manga and seeing how OTHER people's life goes and feel happy and sad or even angry for them. I'm such a forever alone.
If you can see what I mean.
But I find myself pathetic lah. Serious. My life is although so called peaceful, it is seriously bland.
Not that I'm asking for an eventful life, but just that as I said, humans are greedy and when I see other people with better lives, I would obviously be jealous.
But in the category of "control freak parents" I probably am part of the top lists. -_-
Ok anyway, since I'm so manga obsessed, I shall just reveal that i'm currently reading the old ones that i have been reading such as bleach, katekyo hitman reborn, beelzebub, nisekoi, watashi ni xx shinasai, kaichou wa maid sama and orange marmalade when they are updated i think. Then I am reading One Piece and Good Morning Call now. Just finished Cat Street and i think I gave up on Kare Kano maybe?? Yeah i think so. HAHA.
Anyway, I shall wallow in my self-pity and depression.
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