Heyo

Hi guys.

Well today I just got a pep talk from my mom and I can only say that I really don’t dislike them, cos I think my mom’s still super fair and she makes good points. *nods* Haha. Anyway, I was telling her that if this year I was bullied in school I would move back to Singapore myself. I’ve even thought of ways to survive lol. Anyway, now is confession time so I can get this off my chest. *spongebob scene when there is a purple thing on his chest literally* <-HAHA

As most of you know I’m a very critical person. Which means like like to criticize. But TBVH, this is kinda part of my personality. I actually believe in getting criticized (maybe not too rude but I’d like feedback :P) so I will know what I’ve done wrong. But anyway, I have a 大嘴巴 but I know anyway. Then she was saying I shouldn’t criticize so much and I shall do that. :> And stick to twitter or my blog to rant haha. Anyway I shall learn from my mistake. But I still think it’s a super bad habit ah. *facepalms*

But TBVH (ok yup I’m gonna rant haha) I think I siao liao but I like, ok I shall start a new topic again first haha.

As we all know people all have attitude problems and I’m not exception. I think this might be a disorder or whatever lol. Confession time and all of you may never see me the same again.

I love the feeling of being informed and the smartest. And I really love to be the top of the top. I have always done well academically and in other things as well. And is like I’m used to and forced to maintain this standard I have established. <And on an unrelated note, I have also concluded that you should let people have lower expectations of you so you won’t disappoint them as much and stuff.> So thus, I really can’t stand anything less. And being worse than others is a feeling I really can’t stand. (<-psychological problem I guess) It’s like a dominating feeling problem. But I’m guessing this is also one of the reasons why I know more stuff and things. Cos I will remember it since I want to know. And this is actualy a reason why people don’t like others. Stuck up and show-off. And TBH, I can’t stand people who show off when they don’t even have any standard. Anyway, I’m just saying how I feel about this sucky attitude of mine. I think this is a big problem and it’s gonna be hard to change it. *shakes head and sighs*

Next problem is that I like to teach people of advise people on things or even preach. Again it’s just a part of a personality. ANOTHER SHITTY PROBLEM. Then it’s like I like to tell people what to do about situations and stuff. That’s why if you’re in my group you’ll notice I always give orders and other stuff. But I would say that my plans usually never fail. –shishishishi- And I also have to stop my TBH, they come to often haha.

Then another of my troubles is that if you see those shows from America, the Asian students are usually ostracized or like bullied or ignored cos they dun like people who are smarter, and Asians are stereotyped as that. *repeats, this is in shows, from what I’ve seen* And I would say I’m precisely what they always say. And I am skipping grades. Which is even worse. And I don’t seem to be able to talk about anything they talk about. I don’t watch shows that they do (neither can I) and I don’t think I’ll know about the people in school since I’ve come for such a short time, and I also can’t talk about the online stuff and things. And apparently people who watch animes and stuff aren’t exactly that good with these stuff. Though most of my friends I have now are because of anime. Anyway, it’s still a problem. And I’m also not exactly a glam (unlike my no.3 haha) person, I’m fat, I’m ugly (even if not ugly I’m not pretty) and I have 0% fashion sense and I really don’t have the guts to wear nice clothes cos everyone KEEPS GODDAMNIT STARING. I really can’t stand it when people stare cos like I’m living my life so please leave me alone. I cannot stand it. Wear nice wear not nice all also can get stared. FINE I’M NOT WHITE. DEAL WITH IT. And I dunno if the way I talk to them is ok or what cos when I make my orders at restaurants they seem to give me a weird look. I really dunno what I’m doing right or wrong, which is a big problem.
And apparently, there are things people here don’t like, like crocs and stuff and my parents and bro dun care and thus attracting even MORE attention. I’m confused… And thus I’m really not looking forward to school and things. Ah… I have so many troubles.

Another thing was that in the past my parents used to say I must study hard for my future job and things. But the education path you take will affect your career directly. If any of you have realized, something similar actually happened in school last time. Some of you may have same experiences but I’m sure the reason is the same, even if you didn’t realize it. I’m sure most of us had CCAs in primary school, and most of us stuck to one and never changed it. That would result in us being particularly good in one aspect. Maybe some of us can play a certain instrument, or a sport. But by only being proficient in one thing, when we go to secondary school and go like, “I’ve had enough of that same CCA for 1-6 years so I want to change my CCA.” So we all auditioned, but we were unable to get what we wanted (most of us apart from you lucky people.) So this will also apply in real life. Because of the inexperience and lack of exposure to that field, you won’t get it. So this is something that will also happen in the process of having a job. I have been thinking of what in the world do I want. I have no idea what job I want because it’s hard to find something you enjoy and something that’s stable and good paying at the same time.
To get a good paying job, it’s usually never easy and requires a lot of work. Most of the time you’ll be very tired or neglect your normal life.

To get a job you like, mostly includes a lot of risks, like cause many are also independent jobs such that you set up your own company or something. And most of the times I see, when you enjoy your job, you either don’t particularly excel in it, or that it’s an easier job and thus gets paid less.

To get a stable job, you’ll have to usually either be like SUPER UBER DUPER GOOD at it or work as a profession at something. A profession is a job that requires a skill that is not easily learnt. Such as being a lawyer, doctor or accountant. But as you can see from the list it is actually all very tasking. Like exhausting and difficult.

So as you can see I’m having a lot of troubles trying to decide on something.

Well I shall end this post and say a great big thank you to my number 3, Nicole for her dedication. :> You failed to make me cry but I sure did smile. :D And I also miss you a lot. Plus right, now you know how awesome I was when I was there! *BHB* HAHAHA. Anyway, about being a Christian, I kinda believe in Christianity but I would say I don’t believe in it that much. :/ Sadly. L And please hor xiao jie, I cried like crazy and you should know I NEVER CRY. Until recently. And be careful about your asthma. Fall out if you REALLY cannot. You know the symptoms so know your limits. :O

And a final picture that I shall share haha…

Still love you guys loads. And once I can scan the stuff I shall post my dedication to Qianhui and send my squad’s dedication as well. J

Quoted from my mom.

"Don't tell me what she can do. Tell me what she cannot do. " About Dora.

AHAHAHAHHAHA

Oh and to those of you who don't know, Big Bird from sesame street is either 1 or 2 years old. Yes be mind blown now. 

Ok byee.